Trick Tracts

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Trick Tracts Parodies: 8 Reasons

The Chick website gives 8 reasons why the tracts "make witnessing easy". Taken from that same article, we explain what they're really trying to say.

All comments within from Trick Tracts are the opinions/thoughts/humor of the author of this site and do not reflect Chick Publications' views whatsoever.

In other words, it is a joke. Please see it for the tongue-in-cheek work it's meant to be.

From Chick Tracts:
1. CARTOON FORMAT
Before you can share the gospel with someone, you must first get their attention. The world knows how to get and hold people's attention... with pictures! Television, movies, videos, comics, etc. Chick tracts use the same technique, using irresistible cartoon pictures to grab the reader's attention. Nobody, young or old, can resist cartoons.

From Trick Tracts:
1. CARTOON FORMAT
It's all about advertising and marketing. Market god like you would any product you're trying to push, and people will buy into it. Remember, you are a salesman for god. Further his flock.

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From Chick Tracts:
2. DRAMATIC STORIES
Once attracted by the cartoon, people are drawn into Chick tracts by the interesting real-life or dramatic stories. The combination of dramatic stories and cartoons make Chick tracts irresistible. Many Christians who were discouraged because their wordy tracts were rejected or thrown on the ground have been thrilled to see how readily people accept Chick tracts. The devil doesn't mind it when Christians hand out gospel tracts... just as long as nobody reads them. But when Chick tracts are distributed, he blows a fuse, because he knows that nobody can resist them. "Chick tracts GET READ!" It's more than a motto... it's a fact!

From Trick Tracts:
2. DRAMATIC STORIES
We know for a fact that the Devil doesn't mind it. How do we know this? He told us! There is nothing dramatic or realistic about any of our stories, but the people that read them and actually believe them would never see that. But don't tell people we talk to the Devil; they might get the wrong idea.

"I always leave Trick Tracts lying around my apartment. Imagine my surprise when I saw Buck, my dog, reading one! I always thought he was Agnostic. Now Buck is fully devoted to God. Praise the Lord!"

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From Chick Tracts:
3. BASIC GOSPEL
Once hooked by the cartoons and drawn in by the dramatic stories, readers soon learn that woven into each story is a basic gospel message, presented in a way that anyone can understand. No deep theological concepts, no confusion, just a simple gospel message, showing that everyone must be born again through faith in Jesus Christ.

From Trick Tracts:
3. BASIC GOSPEL
Notice the use of words "hooked" and "drawn in". As we said, it's all about marketing. We mean it about "no deep theological concepts", too, and we leave no room for confusion. Everyone is going to burn in hell if they don't adhere to what the comics say. End of story.

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From Chick Tracts:
4. NO THEOLOGICAL TRAINING NEEDED
Many Christians feel they are not qualified to witness because they don't have the necessary theological training. They fear being asked questions they cannot answer. But with Chick tracts, that fear is eliminated. Every Chick tract presents the basic gospel message for you. Plus, each tract includes several Scripture verses that people can look up if they want to verify what is being said. Then, the last page leads the reader with step-by-step instructions on how to get saved, and even includes a sample prayer. No, you don't have to be a Bible scholar to witness... all you need are Chick tracts.

From Trick Tracts:
4. NO THEOLOGICAL TRAINING NEEDED
Because once you become open to believing the things we preach, you will be a world-renowned Biblical scholar. No one interprets the Bible correctly except for us. No one knows God's true meaning except for us. We even talk to the Devil! You don't have to be a Bible scholar to witness...heck, you don't even need a Bible! The tracts tell it all.

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From Chick Tracts:
5. YOU CAN EVEN WITNESS TO INTIMIDATING PEOPLE
You know he's lost... you know he needs to be saved... and you'd love to witness to him. But like Rocco, here, he's much too intimidating. No problem! Just leave a few Chick tracts where he's sure to find them. God has used Chick tracts to melt the coldest and hardest of hearts.

From Trick Tracts:
5. YOU CAN EVEN WITNESS TO INTIMIDATING PEOPLE
No, the tracts will not give you the guts to confront people you normally wouldn't go near. Yet you can be sure that anonymously leaving Trick Tracts strewn about so the intimidating person can find them will not get you beat up. Unless he knows its you, and comes after you for littering his yard or for gluing tracts to his car. Then you're on your own.

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From Chick Tracts:
6. BEING SHY IS NOT A PROBLEM
Many Christians would love to witness, but feel they are too shy. Chick tracts solve that problem. Just leave Chick tracts wherever you go. People will find them...and read them. We have received hundreds of testimonies from people who have gotten saved after reading a Chick tract that they found.

"I found a copy of THIS WAS YOUR LIFE in a phone booth one day and shortly thereafter I accepted the Lord as my Saviour." CO

From Trick Tracts:
6. BEING SHY IS NOT A PROBLEM
Trick tracts encourages you to litter. Leave them on buses, in public restrooms, or just throw a handful of them in a park or similarly populated area. If you know it isn't right to solicit and can't bring yourself to walk up to strangers and stuff a tract in their unwilling hand, just litter the world with our word. We mean, God's word. Yeah.

"I found a copy THE NERVOUS WITCH in a porta-potty the other day. Though it was badly soiled, I was able to make out enough to accept Jesus Christ right there on the crapper. Holy crap!"

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From Chick Tracts:
7. OUR GUARANTEE
If you are not completely satisfied with your stock order, simply return it undamaged within 30 days for a full refund.

From Trick Tracts:
7. OUR GUARANTEE
If you suddenly grow a brain and a conscious, we'll take our crap back; no questions asked. See, we even come with a guarantee. We told you it's all about sales and marketing.

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From Chick Tracts:
8. GOD'S GUARANTEE
Chick tracts are never a waste of time because God promised His Word would never return void.

"He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Ps. 126:6

From Trick Tracts:
8. GOD'S GUARANTEE
How many companies are backed by His guarantee? There's always a profit to be made in Christ.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.