Why She Disgusts Me Sux
Britney is everything that is wrong with pop stars today. While talented as a performer and decent enough as a singer as far as pop standards go, Britney seems to rely more on showing skin than exhibiting her talents to make it as a star. Everytime I see her she has less clothes on and all of her recent past hits have been overtly sexual in nature.
Britney also might be the first star to completely destroy her image after hitting the infamous "of age" mark. She made a mockery of marriage, put her career on hold to act like an immature brat in public, and started finally showing herself to be the piece of little Louisiana trash we natives of her home state have always known she was. The thing was, I had no intentions of taking on Spears until I saw the interview with she and hubby Kevin Federline in Details magazine and realized this snotty, little foul-mouthed skank was just like her worthless peers.
Britney's crude mix of vulgarity and sleaze has pretty much ruined her sweetheart image. As her music and image continue to grow more tawdry and she continues trying to squeeze anything with substance from the pop machine she's headed for has-been territory faster than you can say "oops I did it again". She's already tried, with little success, to cross-over into acting and one can only guess how long it will be before she jumps on another of the sucky star bandwagons and decides to write a book or start her own fashion line. Then there's the famous-relative syndrome to look forward to as she starts to help young sister, Jamie Lynn, become a pop-star-slut like herself. Fuck the popstars, screw Britney Spears. That is why this page exists.
Britney's Generic Pop Fluff Music
I dislike Christina Aguilera way more than I've ever disliked Britney, but even Christina made an attempt to break out of the pop-fluff mold. Britney's albums have followed the customary young popstar line of tweeny bubble-gum pop to teen tease pop on up to over-18 "I'm selling-albums with my sexiness rather than any real talent" pop. You should not have to appear half-naked on your album covers and like a wanton slut in your videos to prove that you and your music have matured; these things generally speak for themselves.
And a Greatest Hits album? Please. One should not even be allowed to put out a greatest hits album with only four other previous albums under their belt. That's just a bit egocentric, in my opinion. And "My Perogative"? It should've been titled "I Can Be a White Trash Whore If I Wanna".
Even Britney's staunchest fans will tell you she hasn't the voice of an angel (or much of a voice, period). It's not stretching it to say that Britney's fame is due more to the wizards behind the soundboard and the half-naked gyrating of her on-stage performances. Britney's strong point is not her voice and and it certainly isn't the musical stylings of her generic music and its ridiculously sexually excessive lyrics. If anyone ever exemplified the "sex sells" cliché, it's Britney Spears.
Britney's Thwarted Thespian Trials Acting
When Britney first started "acting", and I use the term loosely, she said she was going to put her music career on hold and dabble a bit more in the realm of movies. And why shouldn't she? She's only been training to be a dancer and performer since childhood, why not branch off into a field that has nothing to do with her natural talents and learned abilities?
Why do all of these stars want it both ways? Why can't they be happy with one, solid career? Is there something lacking in their native profession that makes them desire something completely different? Wouldn't a true, dedicated singer and performer be too busy honing her craft and polishing her act, perfecting her art, to completely trek off to other pursuits? I guess that goes to show you how much time and dedication Britney puts into her musical career; believe me, it shows.
Britney's Stomping on the Sanctity of Marriage First Marriage
First Marriage Britney's PR-people threw off her long-winded 55-hour marriage to childhood friend, Jason Alexander, as a "joke gone too far".
Some joke.
There are a number of speculations that arise from the seemingly impromptu and pointedly stupid nuptials. After all, getting legally wedded by accident is highly improbable, at best. And who in their right mind would "jokingly" sign their name to a marriage license? Something smells fishy; could it be:
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all a publicity stunt?
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a cruel trick by a supposed "friend" to nail a girl that plans to "save it" until her wedding night?
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simply the dumbest idea since handing Ashlee Simpson a mike?
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or a mix of all of the above?
Whatever the case, Britney really should be ashamed. With so many people today fighting for simply the chance to be legally wedded with the person they love, for her to take that right and make light of it so is tasteless to say the least. A joke. Real funny.
Britney's Redneck Heritage Trashiness
Even being born and bred in redneck territory gives Britney no excuse to talk like she just stepped out of the trailer park. With all she's done and the myriad of places she's traveled, one would think Britney would've picked up a little class and culture along the way. Apparently not.
The way Britney presents herself to the public, the vulgarities and infantile phrases that tumble from her mouth, makes you wonder if her parents shouldn't have invested some of that money she made early on in etiquette school.
Britney's Dumbass Husband Kevin
Whether its his obvious lack of lingual skills, the fact that he was proud of his dancing career because it allowed him to support himself legally, or that he partially named his son after a supposed child molester (Kaleb Michael Jackson Federline), these are still not valid reasons to hate KFed, as the media has dubbed him.
There is only one. We are forced to look at his outdated-grunge visage and listen to the boorish banalities and excessive vulgarities that spew forth from his person because he married Britney Spears. Perhaps I'm not making myself clear - Britney and the media mavens that gave you the likes of Ashlee Simpson want to turn KFed into a celebrity. His ass, which he repeatedly refers to, is on the cover of January's Details magazine. In the name of all that is holy and sacred, WHY!!??.
Better yet, Britney wants to turn this waste of flesh she's wedded into a hip hop star. From NY Daily News:
Word is that the 23-year-old Britney is eager to remake her second husband, former backup dancer husband Kevin Federline, into a hip-hop star. "Brit wants him to come out as a rapper - she says he can flow."
I don't even have the words. If this happens and any one person buys his album, surely it will be the sign of the end times.
The dim-witted duo also decided to share in an inking experience:
She said: "I have pink dice on my left wrist. It's something me and my husband we did together. He has blue dice, I have pink dice."
Wow. Dice - I mean, how romantic.
BSpear and KFed are also about to launch their own clothing line - together, so Kevin can hire all of his friends. Wouldn't want none of their asses to have to support themselves illegally, now would we?
Britney's Whoring Her Boring Life Out Reality Show
It is reality TV's darkest hour. Who would be bored or deranged enough to want to watch hours of K-Fed and B-Spear's lives? Since neither of them can open their mouths without insulting intelligent minds everywhere, one has to wonder what it would take to sit through an entire hour listening to their inane white-trash drivel.
Britney claims they are airing their private lives on television to "set the record straight" about she and Kevin's relationship (apparently some people seem to believe he hooked up with the slut-poptress for her money). What Spears fails to realize is that we don't care; people are not watching her show to see she and Kevin madly in love and salivating all over one another. They are watching for the drama, the fights, the thrilling trashiness of the couple.
Futhermore, if Brit really thinks we believe her "we're just proving our love"-bit she's dumber than I originally thought. We all know what this is really about; the money. Britney is trying to repair the gaping hole Kevin's wild spending is ripping into her bank account.
It takes a lot of guts to get on live television and show the world you married a no-good, gold-digging, loser schmuck; I have to give it to her. The most amazing part, though? She's proud of it.
From the Mouths of Morons Britney Speaks
Britney On...You Know:
"I think I'm more grounded, you know, and I know what I want out of life and I'm, you know, my morals are really, you know, strong and I have major beliefs about certain things and I think that has helped me, you know, from being, you know, coming from a really small town."
- Britney Spears
Um, no, I don't know.
Major beliefs? How interesting that miss formerly uber-Christian is now purportedly studying the Kabbalah and has even tattooed the evidence of her new faith on the back of her neck in the form of three Hebrew letters which spell a healing form of God.
Interesting to note that Judaism forbids tattoos of any kind. Sounds to me like she's a bit, you know, confused.
Britney on Being Britney:
"I don't like defining myself. I just am."
- Britney Spears
How very zen of you, Britney. Pretty deep stuff for someone who sings about her crush being "toxic".
If I was a half-illiterate country bumpkin with bad skin, fried hair, and a career going down the tubes, I wouldn't want to "define" myself either.
Face it, girl. Your days in the spotlight are completely over. You're a has-been whose only option for income is whoring yourself out on reality TV and and releasing premature greatest hits albums with overtly-sexual album covers just so they'll sale.
Britney on Having Children:
"When I have kids -- I think Celine Dion, the way she does it, with her show in Vegas, is the way to go. Everybody comes to her. When I have kids, I'm so there. That's what I'm doing. Come to me, motherfuckers."
- Britney Spears
Now that's classy. Such charm and poise - so articulate. I just had no idea Britney was this cultured or this perspicacious.
Brit, darling, by time you're done popping out babies and are doing shows in Vegas, most of your tweenie fans will be adults with children, too. Meaning 99% of them will have matured past the point of wanting to listen to your juvenile pop music or see you gyrating your inflated, child-bearing hips on stage. Better stick with the game; your fan base will not grow with you.
Britney on Travel:
"The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff."
- Britney Spears
No, it's okay. I laughed, too.
Britney on Her Starpower:
"I'm famous, but I'm not famous like freaking Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston."
- Britney Spears
'Cause those guys, I mean, they're freaking so much more famous - everybody knows their freaking names.
Which is interesting considering everyone knows Britney's name, too.
I'm not sure which is more troublesome; her obvious lack of lingual skills or her inability to realize she is a cultural icon.
Britney on Other Music:
"I always listen to 'N SYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart". It reminds me to wear a bra."
- Britney Spears
W..t..f?
No, I mean, really... What else can you say?
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