Archive for the 'Personal Graves' Category

A Personal Loss

February 13th, 2008


It was the death of my friend and brother-in-law, Lance Corey Morel, on October 12, 2006, that actually caused me to stumble onto Find A Grave for the first time.

I found solace in keeping Lance's memory alive via the Internet, where I assured his immortality with countless online memorials and uploaded photographs. While looking for places to remember and honor deceased loved ones, I found Find A Grave and the hobby of "graving" was then born.

Though Lance's memorial was put up shortly after his death, his actual headstone at his grave took some time in coming (as is customary). I cannot explain the feeling of looking down at the cold granite and seeing the name of someone you love and know so well carved into it.

Visiting Lance's grave is always a reminder to me to show the utmost respect and reverence to every grave I visit and photograph. Each is someone's child and friend, perhaps someone's parent, sibling, or beloved co-worker. The person beneath the marker I am recording means the world to someone - likely to many someones - and I want to honor their cherished memories as much as I want to honor the deceased whose name will be memorialized on the website.

What I do is not only for the dead, you see. I know that I can personally say that having Lance's memorial on Find A Grave, and seeing people leave him messages and virtual flowers - knowing that he is remembered - gives me comfort I cannot put into words. it is my hope that the graves I record might, someday, give the same peace to those also left behind.

Unexpected Finds

February 2nd, 2008

The most rewarding graving trips are those where I set out to find something in particular and end up finding more than I'd ever even hoped for.

A case in point is a visit I made to St. Charles Catholic Church Cemetery in Godeau, Louisiana. Far from being a random graving trip, I had made the seventy-plus mile trek to search for family graves in order to verify some genealogical records.

According to my data, and family recollection, my great-great grandparents, Ernest and Alice Beauvais, were buried here. Also interred in this small, local cemetery - where that part of my family had hailed from - were Telemark and Virginia Deaville; who I remember as Uncle Tilly and Aunt Virginia. Uncle Tilly was my great-grandfather's half brother and I have fond memories of searching for eggs in their chicken coop when we'd go to visit.

My great-grandmother, Alice Ortego, was born in Avoyelles Parish and as a young woman married a man by the name of Oge' Deaville. The union produced three children - Telemark, Victoria, and Aimee. It was after the untimely death of Oge' that Alice married my great-grandfather, Ernest Beauvais; an older gentleman who was able - and willing - to help an early-widowed woman with three young children. Ernest raised his three stepchildren with the same love and attention that was paid to his own six children with Alice - Horace, my great-grandfather, Salonie, Mildred, Ernest, Hazel, and Lillian.

I found - as I had hoped to - the graves of my great-grandparents, Ernest and Alice, as well as those of Telemark and his wife, Virginia. It was as I was walking through the graves, trying to snap as many as I could to record the cemetery for Find A Grave and others, that I stopped short at a familiar name...

Valentine is a name that stands out, regardless of the time or place. It especially stood out to me as I looked down upon it etched into cold, gray stone for Ernest had a sister with that very unusual name. In fact, some of the original paperwork in my genealogy records - typed up in 1940 - was noted as being "in some papers that Aunt Valentine had." The name that stared back at me on this day was "Valentine B. Lossoir". Could this be the same Valentine - my Valentine, my family? All signs pointed to a very possible yes - the middle initial of "B" most likely stood for her maiden name of Beauvais and here she was, if it was her, buried in the same cemetery as her brother (my great-great grandfather).

I snapped some clear photographs of her headstone and the one next to it belonging to Louis Lossoir, who it appeared was her husband, and went on to photograph as much of the remaining cemetery as possible before my dying camera decided to shutter its last.

One lucky find would have been enough to please me, so I certainly wasn't expecting another when I came upon the marker for Regina Beauvais Goudeau. There was no mistaking this lady's maiden name and, yes, Ernest had another sister that was, in fact, named Regina. Yet still - as most any genealogist worth his or her salt will tell you - nothing is certain until officially verified. I snapped my photographs just as my camera died out completely.

It wasn't until arriving home and cross-checking the dates on the photographed headstones with all of my paperwork that I could, as I'd hoped and guessed, say for sure that I had found the graves of my great-great grandfather's sisters, Valentine and Regina, and their husbands. I was absolutely delighted to have come back not only with what I'd gone to find, but with even more than I could've hoped for.

A Story Behind Every Marker

April 3rd, 2007

Stumbling upon the markers of two family members this past weekend was a fruitful and exciting find. Yet it also brings to bear my "story behind every marker" concept.

The graves of James Doherty and Victoria Deauville Doherty sit still and unassuming in this small town cemetery that sees few visitors. They are simple markers; nothing about them would occasion more than a mere passing glance.

Yet they, like each headstone we walk by, has a story to tell.

Not even knowing Jim and Vic, as they were known in life, you can ascertain a few things about them and their lives from simply taking a moment to take in their final resting place.

Their tombstones sit beside one another, and their birth years are very close; Victoria has a maiden name etched into her headstone. It's a fair assumption, then, to allege these two were husband and wife. "Father" and "Mother" are also carved into the gray stone, so one can surmise that they had at least one child.

Both have been dead for over thirty years, and the bouquet of flowers between their graves is faded and bedraggled with age. It is likely, then, that their graves have not been visited for some time.

As you can see, even without knowing the truth about the person whose grave you are standing above, a few moments of simple reflection can offer much information.

In fact, our assumptions about the Dohertys would have been spot on. Jim and Vic were, indeed, a married couple who raised four children together. Most of those children are now in their 70s or have died; there were few grandchildren. It has likely been a very long time since these graves were visited and the flowers we see here were left.

Sometimes a name or a set of names will pique your curiosity for a seemingly unknown reason. You take down the names and dates you see before you, and set out on a quest to find out who and what these people were about while they were still alive. This was the case with myself and The Brandon Children.

Research into the Dohertys might have returned little helpful information or a lot. It may have connected you to a living family member eager to talk about their beloved deceased family or you may have come up with nothing and the grave remained a mystery.

In this way, regardless of the eventual outcome however, someone was remembered; either by facts found about them or by the imaginings in someone's mind of who they might have been. This is especially poignant for very old graves that have not likely not been visited, nor their occupants considered, in many long years.

There is a story behind the names and dates carved in stone before you - whether it be factual events of the person's former life, or the fictional invention your mind concocted as you contemplated the grave. For the creative dreamer, a cemetery can be the ultimate muse.

Speaking of stories, let us get back to our original protagonists. Here is a story about Jim and Vic Doherty: They began their life together as star-crossed lovers. Victoria's stepfather, who had raised her, did not approve of the young Doherty boy and refused to let her marry him. In defiance - and obviously in love - Jim and Vic ran off together.

Victoria's stepfather found them living in a tent on the side of the levee near Shreveport, Louisiana. He brought them home and the wedding was arranged. It's likely by that time Vic was pregnant. For whatever reason, the marriage was allowed to take place, and Jim and Vic lived a long, happy life together.

These were people who lived and breathed - who lived lives and still have stories to tell. Stop by a grave next time you find yourself in a cemetery and take a few moments to see what it's telling you. You might just uncover, or create, an amazing story.