Graver's Journal The only real equality is in the cemetery

A chinese lion statue

Graving, as I define it, is the pastime or hobby of viewing and/or recording the information from headstones in cemeteries and mausoleums for pleasure or record-keeping purposes. The term comes from the website community of Find A Grave, which is a free, user-contributed grave database and record of over forty million graves - famous and non-famous - worldwide.

Personally, I have been enjoying cemeteries since my earliest memories - which often involved four generations of women in my Cajun family traveling out to Plaucheville and Bayou Jack, Louisiana to bring flowers to and tend the graves of deceased family members for All Saint's Day. As the grown-ups cleaned, my siblings and I spent hours playing around the graves. In so doing, I learned a deep appreciation and respect for the forever silenced men, women, and children buried beneath mounds of cold dirt, a name and some dates all that were left to tell the story of their lives.

I find cemeteries peaceful, serene places; my time there always leaves me feeling more aware of my life and the people in it, and is a gentle reminder not to ever take anything for granted. The storyteller in me finds graveyards to be treasure troves of tales just waiting to be told; forgotten lives ready to be brought back into existence again whether through fact or fiction, truth or imagination.

Young Mother’s Remains Stolen from Grave

May 8th, 2011

It was a Tuesday, the 15th, a day like any other in the middle of June in the year 2010 when a phone call shattered a family’s life.

That call was to the Clark family and their world crumbled to learn that their beautiful daughter had taken her own life.  Tori Lynn Clark – only 33 years of age and a young mother – had chosen to end her personal suffering that summer day in Graniteville, VT.   Ironically, she worked as a mental health professional but, in the end, Tori was unable to save herself from her own mental problems; which her mother says she suffered with for years.  Sadly, suicide is a high risk and common end result for people with mental illness issues.

Her parents, Michael and Patty Clark, chose to have her remains cremated and a graveside service was held for her on June 21, 2010 at Maple Hill Cemetery.  Her former fiancé, Gene Sargeant, whom she had broken up with a month prior to her death, and who was the father of her young son, Tyler (age 11), attended the services.  After the service he was given some of her ashes.

States mother Patty Clark, “I guess that wasn’t enough.”

The Clarks ordered a headstone for their daughter’s grave, choosing to have dolphins – which Tori loved – carved into the granite on either side of her name.  They visited the gravesite often to pray with Tori and did their best to pick up the pieces of their life and move on.

It was in September that their world was turned upside down once more.  Father Michael Clark received a strange, anonymous email telling him that “something was wrong” with his daughter’s grave.  The email suggested that the family should have Tori’s grave dug up so they could see for themselves.

Concerned and horrified, the Clarks contacted State Police.  The gravesite was exhumed and police returned to the Clark residence to notify them that their daughter’s remains had been stolen.

“She was taken from us twice; by death, and by being dug up and taken again,” Patty Clark told local news stations that picked up the story.

On September 2, 2010, Vermont State Police began their investigation and on April 20, 2011, they picked up Tori’s 30 year-old former fiancé, Gene Sargeant, and a friend, David Mares, and charged them with desecrating her grave, officially “unauthorized removal of human remains”.  The charge, in the state of Vermont, is a felony and “carries a penalty of imprisonment of not more than 15 years or a fine of not more than $10,000 or both” (more info here).

A few weeks later, on the 28th, two more people were arrested in connection with the crime:  22 year-old Rosalee Moodie and 32 year-old Melissa Estivil were brought in as accessories to the original crime.

No word yet on why Gene Sargeant felt the need to dig up the remains of the mother of his child and ex-fianceé or why he employed the help of the other three people.  The sender of the anonymous email to the Clark family also remains a mystery.

Sadly, Tori’s ashes have yet to be recovered.

Crossposted at Tumblr...

 

Move to Tumblr

April 16th, 2011

Merry Meet & Merry Part...

After losing both losing both the agraversjournal.com and graversjournal.com domain names, I have decided to add the blog to a more public venue in order to share my work with a broader audience.  Also, with Tumblr I can blog right from my iPhone as I'm graving.

This blog will stay in use and can be accessed at skatoolaki.com/graving or graving.skatoolaki.com; I repeat - this blog will continue to be used.  What is posted here (or there at Tumblr- whichever first) will be cross-posted between this blog Graver's Journal and the Tumblr Graver's Journal.

Thank you for your interest and for staying with me, loyal readers.

The new Tumblr address is:  graversjournal.tumblr.com.  The new address for this blog is graving.skatoolaki.com.

I am also now on Twitter, @graversjournal.

Purple Heart

April 16th, 2011

I was quite excited to have stumbled upon, and been able to record, the grave of a recipient of the United States' infamous Purple Heart.

According to Wikipedia, the Purple Heart is:

...a United States military decoration awarded in the name of the President to those who have been wounded or killed while serving on or after April 5, 1917 with the U.S. military.

I wasn't even supposed to be graving that day, I just happened to stop at a small cemetery next to the beautiful and historic Grace Episcopal Church in St. Francisville, called Mount Carmel Catholic Church Cemetery, and decided to snap a few photos of the interesting, modern graves there.

Many were young people with photos on their graves - their headstones filled with images and bereft words from those they'd left behind.  You can see some of these in my Picasa album over at Google.

While there, be sure to see the three photos of the headstones of Danny "Rod" Rodriguez.  He's got a lovely black marble headstone and his footstone is the traditional veteran's marker, indicating that he was a Purple Heart recipient.

We can see that Danny, born in 1948 and who died in 1993, fought in Vietnam.

Incessant Google searches turned up nothing on the handsome man who was an Army soldier that earned a Purple Heart in Vietnam, was known as "Rod" to friends, who loved to hunt and was a "Loving and Devoted Husband, Father and Friend".

Sometimes all we have are the headstones left to tell a story, but if you look close enough the picture can be filled in quite well - other times, however, it can leave even more of a mystery.

We can learn a good bit about Danny from his headstone, but we know nothing of his actual life, where he was born or how he died.

There is truly a story behind every headstone; what may be just another grave to you is, without a doubt, a very special marker commemorating a person who was beloved and dearly missed by family and friends.

The tapestry of their life, who they were, what they did, how they loved and lost, strove and tarried, is often a mystery...and that's part of the beauty for me - as a storyteller - of a cemetery.

Do you have any Purple Heart grave photos you've snapped?  If so, please photo reply.

The Cemetery

Danny is buried in what I dub the "newer" part of the beautiful, moss-draped, sun-dappled graveyard that surrounds Gothic and historic Grace Episcopal Church Cemetery in the special little town of St. Francisville, on the Mississippi River in West Feliciana Parish.  Though partially connected, this is actually Mount Carmel Catholic Church Cemetery.

Most of us here in south Louisiana have a bit of a love affair with the historical little town - it's beauty is lush and its history abundant.  If you have a passion for history, old settlements, or long-standing plantation homes, then you must visit - in person or even online - St. Francisville (est. 1809).

The town was founded by Capuchin friars who crossed the river from Pointe Coupee Parish to bury their dead on the bluffs.  The settlement that grew up around this boneyard was named after their patron saint, St. Francis.

The "newer" part of the cemetery I spoke of is actually quite old and is called the Old Burying Grounds and, though connected to the older cemetery and church of Grace, is not related (the one being Anglican/Episcopal and the other Catholic).

Both cemeteries are worth a trip, as is the town itself.  Across the river lies the historic city of New Roads, in Pointe Coupee Parish, that was established in the 1720s by settlers from France and is one of the oldest settlements along the Mississippi River.

Of interesting note is the town's oxbow lake, False River, that formed around 1772 when the Mississippi changed course during seasonal flooding and cut a shorter channel eastward.  Before this, the area of False River was the main channel of the Mississippi, affording cities like New Roads extensive chances to grow at the time.

(A bit off-topic, but I was surprised - during my research - to find that my grade school Alma mater, False River Academy, has its own Wikipedia page!)

There is a ferry that has long gone between St. Francisville and New Roads - many take it daily to get to and from work.  Currently (finally) a bridge - the John James Audubon - is being built to connect the two communities and land masses; it is slated to be finished this year and will be the longest cable-stayed bridge in North America.

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